Friday, November 30, 2012

Hubby's Bday & The "Devil" On My Shoulder

Today is my sweet man's birthday. I want to take a moment to recognize what a great man/husband/father/friend/leader he is. I couldn't be more proud to be his wife. He works hard, he is smart, funny, super sexy;). Pretty much the whole package. Hehe

We've had a great week, lots of awesome love-making but man, we've both been exhausted in the mornings. 6:00am comes WAY too quick! He had told me earlier in the week he wanted to wait until his birthday (when we had the house with no kids) to have sex... the kinky kind at least.  I, of course, tried to be naughty and tempt him...wearing hot, red, lacy panties and flashing my bottom at him "innocently" as I undressed for the night. He just smiled and laughed..telling me "no, don't ask again".

In those moments, when its just us, I can't help but want to TEST him! I've told him several times "I don't believe you'll actually spank me" or tell him "No", just to see how he'll react. (I know, I know. I know what your thinking...thats not nice/respectful). It's actually a bit childish..I'm not proud:/  He can see what I'm doing, he's an intelligent guy so theres no point. He just says "I think you just want me to spank you." And the truthful answer is YES I do, but not if its not authentic. I don't want him pretending to be mad about something and spanking me. Not that sexual spankings aren't fun...I'm game for that too, but that belongs in a different category.

There's two sides to me at the moment, I very much want to to be a good/submissive wife. (He's the kind of man you just WANT to make happy...his heart is like gold.)But then there's that side to me that wants to KNOW he'll follow through, that he WILL discipline me. That he's not just "playing along".  I feel silly even saying that, but its true! I know he will direct me, and he'll even use a firm tone or expression with me if I'm not following. But there's that "devil" on my shoulder that wants to know what happens after all that.....

Maybe I should have titled this post like the Drew Barrymore movie Never Been Kissed...."Never Been SPANKED"??? Hehe

Thanks for reading!



  1. are my two cents....I am a good least I try really, REALLY hard. There is nothing wrong with saying, "I need a good, firm spanking. I need to feel your authority. I need to feel my place." You don't have to bait him into it, or to to compromise yourself, or have him compromise himself, or your relationship.

    Discipline isn't isn't always about correction. Pleasure isn't always about play. There is pleasure in submitting when it's difficult, there is pleasure in yielding. There is nothing wrong with asking for what you need, you are only showing your increased awareness of your own submissive nature, and acknowledging his dominance and leadership.


    1. So sorry I've been "MIA", so busy at work and applying for new job! Didn't mean to leave ya hangin;)

      June, you've got the best insight. When you put it this way I really see how the way I'm going about it is really so unnecessary. It takes so much strength and courage (I have found) to be straight forward about your needs. It requires such a raw vulnerability I am just beginning to become more comfortable with.
      "There is nothing wrong with asking for what you need, you are only showing your increased awareness of your submissive nature and acknowledging his dominance and leadership". -beautifully said June. And gives me lots to think about:)

  2. Hi Jasmine, welcome to blogland and the best lifes choice you will have ever made. It is hard, and at times, I know some of my readers, along with myself, do test the boundaries. June's advice is very very good. If you are able to ask for a spanking to 'rebalance' yourself, go for it. Much better than pushing the boundaries...well, I must admit here that I push them a bit..sigh..working on that one.

    Looking forward to reading more about your journey :)

    1. Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting! I can't tell you how great it feels to have others to relate to and share these experiences with:) Yes, pushing the boundaries can be dare I say entertaining at times??? Lol but seriously I agree, June's right on and I love the advice.

  3. Hi Jasmine! Welcome to blogging. I don't have time to read right now but will be sure to come back with new posts. I hope you enjoy becoming part of our little community.

    1. Hi Susie:) Thanks for coming by and reading when you can! Thanks for the warm welcome.