Monday, March 4, 2013

My first punishment...

Ahhhh time has gotten away with me again. We are so busy lately with the kids all involved in sports it seems if its not one thing, it's another. Forgive me blog land;)

Back to the topic at hand. On Saturday....I was punished. It happened much differently than I imagined in my mind it would one day go. I pictured receiving a spanking, being asked to stand in the corner of our bedroom...something along those lines. Anyways I'm getting ahead of myself here. Here's what happened:

I was in a somewhat (ok, very) stressed and sassy mood Saturday morning. We were on a tight schedule getting kids to their events and making sure everyone was ready in time. The day before this, friday, I had borrowed my Mom's car (and left my own car at her house) and I ended up leaving two crucial items in her car accidentally: one of our children's sports bags and my makeup bag. I called my mom early saturday morning to let her know I'd be coming to get them, and also my car. She wanted to be helpful and instead offered to bring my makeup and the sports bag over since she was going to be headed our way. I thanked her and accepted the offer. Mom calls me when she's on a street very near to my house and says "There's no makeup bag or sports bag in YOUR car". (Now mind you, at this point I have maybe half an hour to get myself ready). This is when I realize she's in the wrong car, I had already told her I left the items in her car...not mine, yet she drove my car over. I thought I had been very clear about which one it was in and I basically said as much. (Ugh I know, not cool).  I was very annoyed and gave my mom attitude. In my mind it made no sense that she would leave her house without looking to make sure everything was there! My husband could hear our conversation and gave me a stern look, one of those "hey watch your attitude" kind of looks. But I was in full fledged B$&@# mode already. When I got off the phone he reminded me that my Mom had done me a favor and that it was my own fault for forgetting those things in her car. He said he would drive to her house for me and pick those things up. (Telling this story back really makes me feel bad...what a little brat I was).  He told me I looked "beautiful and that he likes me better without makeup". Well that only irritated me more... I responded to him with a very sharp sarcastic retort "oh ok thanks, well because YOU said that now I'm just not going to wear any". He wasn't very happy, needless to say, and left the house to go to my Mom's. I felt bad instantly and sent him a text apologizing for my behavior. He didn't respond.

When my husband returned he handed our youngest son his sports bag and instructed him to finish getting ready because it was almost time to go. He walked past me in the hallway and dropped the makeup bag in my hand and said "You can open that tomorrow". I really wasn't sure I heard correctly, or that he meant what I thought he meant so I followed him back to our room. He was sitting at our desk and I asked what he meant by that. I thought for sure I had misunderstood him.   He thanked me for apologizing but explained that he didn't like how I spoke to my mom when she was covering for a mistake I had made and then he offered to fix that mistake as well and I gave him attitude also. He said he was trying to be nice by telling me how beautiful I am without the makeup but I snapped at him for that too. He then explained that I was so fixed on the fact that I wouldn't have enough time to get myself ready but informed me that I didn't need to worry about that now because I was not going to be allowed to wear any makeup that day. He said I could open my makeup bag tomorrow and wear it for church.

I was stunned.

He had never done anything like this before, and honestly I was banking on the fact that I thought he never would. That sounds horrible to say, but its true! (How quickly I forgot that I had handed over all authority to him and asked him to lead me and our family.) It's amazing how instantly humbled I felt in that moment. I realized how silly my stressing over the morning had been and it really was all for nothing. After asking a few times if he was serious, and if I could just wear a little which the answer was no...I submitted. I didn't say much but just got up on my husbands lap and buried my face in his neck and hugged him. There was no question that I was going to obey him, and in a way I really WANTED to. I understood perfectly what had brought this on (ME) and wanted to make it better.

We had such a great day after that. We went to both kids sports events and went to dinner out alone together at a pretty nice restaurant...all the while with my bare face for everyone to see. Now, honestly I go without makeup fairly often and am not afraid to be seen like that, but this time FELT very different. I hadn't CHOSEN to go makeup-less. I was in a sense "wearing" my punishment in a
way that of course no one else would know, but he and I sure did. I felt a certain "awareness" of that fact all day. It was a vulnerable experience, and I would have to say very effective. It really made me respect my husband so much more for recognizing what needed to be done and not wavering.

Happy Monday! And thanks for reading:-)


Sunday, January 20, 2013

Proverbs 31 Wife

I wasn't really sure when I was writing this post if I really wanted to go into my religious beliefs completely or if it even belonged here but decided, Why not? Anyone who doesn't like it/agree can move harm no foul. Enjoy.

The Wife of Noble Character- Proverbs 31:10-31
"A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." Proverbs 31:10-31

I have long loved this passage in the bible and have read it more times than I know. There is so much to aspire to here, such beauty. I definitely have a lot of growing to do, and have not "arrived" at any sort of perfection but this is what I hope my husband will think of me as he looks back on our lives together. What I want to give him and what I think he deserves.

God knows if you take one look at my house over the past several months its a bit embarrassing! And laziness? Um yeah... I've been that too. Lots. When I'm asked to take care of something do I always follow through? No...I procrastinate and do things in my own sweet time.  Like I said, I've got some work I genuinely want to put in. Becoming a great wife/mother is important to me.

My thoughts: First, I think its interesting its mentioned that a wife like the one described is basically a "hot commodity"...few and far between! Also, I think it would be hard not to notice the considerable focus on the wife's "drive" and determination. She is a busy woman. She's not the type that's wasting the day- getting out of bed at noon and wandering around aimlessly or doing things solely for herself. She has proven herself dependable and trustworthy. Her husband doesn't worry about her forgetting an important task, he knows it will be done and that gives him peace. She shows her love through her works in the home, foreseeing the needs of her family. She has time for her husband after a long day, "her lamp does not go out at night", its clear he is a priority. She doesn't respond to him with bitterness or complain she is too"tired" or nag him relentlessly. She makes him proud, her respect for him has filtered out to others (family, friends, co-workers) and they too respect/admire him. --I'm going to go off on a slight tangent here because I really think that last part is so important. I hear women, some of which are friends of mine, speak horribly about their husbands/significant others all the time. I have done it in past relationships myself. But what I realized is that while I was merely "venting", these were the moments that SHAPED the opinions of those around me. How often do you share the "He is so great, listen to what he said/did" stories? Again, not perfect here, but I really really think its important to lift up your spouse in a way that is honoring to them and your relationship. Remembering that the person you chose to share your life with is a direct reflection of who YOU are as well. Words are not just "words", they are powerful. End tangent.-- The woman described here is a true "lady", conducting herself in a way that conveys respect for herself and her family. She does not rely on outward beauty, but rather the kind of beauty that comes from holding the spirit and love of God inside you at all times and allowing it to pour out so that others might see that radiant love and want to experience it.

OK if you lasted through that whole thing, thank you. That was lengthy! And didn't really have much to do with DD...per se....except that I think many of the wives in this community are striving to become like the wife described here. (Even if maybe they don't know it!) We want to please our husbands/HOH's, and seek to do so through acts of submission and obedience. This submission is ultimately a sign of very high respect for the person its given to. It isn't always easy to do, especially in those times when you truly disagree, but is that not the beauty of the gift? If it was simple and easy and didn't require the least bit of strength or sacrifice I am positive it wouldn't mean quite so much. I am sure this is why God calls wives to submit and for husband's to lovingly lead. Because it doesn't come naturally. Because there's a transformative vulnerability in sacrifice. These acts are meant to refine our character and bring a closeness that could not be otherwise attained.. When you trust that maybe, JUST maybe God knows best....and follow....beautiful things happen.

Thanks for reading!!

Jasmine :-)

I've been "MIA" but I'm back!

I didn't expect for life to get away from me as it has in the past month and a half, but it sure did! Between the holidays, each of our 3 kids and myself ending up sick at one point or another, a new baby in the family and a family vacation...we have been BUSY people! Anyways, I have very much missed this accepting, kind, awesome DD community!!! I've got LOTS of stories to catch up on:)

Thanks for reading!